I have written a few posts recently that looked at PTSD and how Chaplains like myself might become part of a team that helps First Responders. This blog however takes a different angle at the issue of trauma because I know we can all face this at times in our lives. I also know that you can suffer from PTSD even if you have never been a First Responder. To make my point, I need to give personal stories that I have lived through with others while in my role as a pastor and chaplain.
Post Traumatic Stress (Disorder) is usually caused after more than one traumatic event in someone's life. There are however cases where just one horrific event can have the same affect. In the news here in Toronto, one of the headlines in our newspapers was the introduction of new legislation that will make it easier for First Responders to get financial aid without jumping through as many hoops with Workmen's Compensation. The thought behind this being that more cops, firefighters and EMS personnel will receive help because PTSD will be seen as a workplace "illness". Not sure I like the word illness but that is what they want to call it. What about the rest of us however? Is it possible for non-First responders to be exposed to events that are just as damaging?
My stories are often dealing with others and their traumas and yet I lived through these with families and individuals each time I was asked to fulfill my role as a pastor and chaplain. This blog is not written so the readers will feel sorry for me. It is written to show that trauma is not the exclusive domain of First Responders and our military.
I am going to begin with an event that scarred me and many others. It is an event that I can't fully tell because the individual that caused the trauma was a young offender. When all was said and done, I had worked with the Children's Aid Society, the Toronto Police, the Attorney General's office, professional therapists and a church community that was betrayed. The betrayal didn't end with the young offender but instead the trauma continued for family, young victims and myself when other church leaders accepted the lies of one of their own. It continued through 8 days of court when the AG's representative, assigned to help young victims in the courtroom instead went and helped 2 families that needed more help in the courtroom than we did. The trial of Paul Bernardo just happened to take place at the same time and the help was for the Mahaffy and French families.
So consider that as a pastor, I was asked to make the pain go away for these parents, children and eventually for the church community. Consider that I could not do it well enough no matter what I did. Consider that other pastors accused me of things based on what the young offender's father was telling people as far away as Europe and South America. Even as I write this I am feeling a bit of tightness in my chest. It was an horrendous few years and added to everything else was the fear that our 2 boys might also have been victims. I truly believe that my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and a wonderful loving wife got me through those couple of years.
To this day I know of things this young offender did that others never heard about. That in itself is difficult but since then I have gone through other traumatic events where I was once again looked upon as the "steading voice" and the one to make "things better". I will talk about those things in a later post but it brings me to what I see as the proverbial "rock and a hard place". As someone like me is looked upon to bring comfort and solutions, who helps me? I did get help through someone that I believe God brought into my life at the very time I was preparing to quit: and I do mean literally quit. This comparison is not meant to lesson what our First Responders face every day but it might help some of you understand where I was. While everyone is finding fault in you and your actions, you feel like you are dying inside while doing absolutely everything you can to help others. Much like our cops that get very little love from media when things look bad and almost no praise for the other 99% of the time when they are putting their lives on the line: often for those who are slamming them.
PTSD should be seen as a something associated with First Responders and Military. What I am pointing out is that others of us have also gone through situations that affect our lives in a less than positive way and yes, cause trauma and even PTSD. As a Christian and as a Chaplain, my other blogs mentioned that there is a resource that most police, fire and EMS are not exposed to when suffering from PTSD or Occupational Stress Injuries (OSI). The spiritual or more specifically the Christian faith perspective has helped millions of people all over the world for centuries. We can't keep ignoring the positive role that Chaplains can have in fighting the symptoms of PTSD. With proper training and years of practical experience, I would consider their insights as being invaluable in helping victims of PTSD.
In my next post I will share a few other traumatic experiences that I was exposed to because of my role as a pastor and chaplain. Perhaps you can come to your own conclusions as to whether exposure to these kinds of events could cause PTSD. I don't think it did for me but they can't help but affect your life.
