September 11, 2001 was a day that most of us will never forget. It was a day similar to the day JFK was assassinated when I was only 9 years old. On 9/11 I was not home with my wife and three children or on my way to work. I was was in Blantyre, Malawi thousands of miles away. I heard the news on BBC radio just after a church service held under a huge tent with about 3000 participants that had come from several miles away. They had come to listen to a group of Christian leaders speak but on this particular day it had been a man from the Congo that had spoken. The interesting thing is that I usually forget what someone preaches within a few days and sometimes even hours. I know that is a terrible thing to admit, being a former pastor. I remember this sermon even today because it was given as planes were crashing into buildings in NYC.
I became a volunteer chaplain with the Toronto Police a few months after 9/11. Many young men and women became cops and fire fighters and paramedics after 9/11 and as I hear their stories, many did so because of 9/11. It touched many lives but the impact is still being felt not only for families that lost loved ones but for each of us who witnessed the tragic events of that day.
The first police chaplain conference I attended was about a year after 9/11. Our guest speaker was the senior chaplain with the Spokane Police. He had many stories to tell that week because he had been called to NYC in the days following 9/11. He was at Ground Zero for several days trying to bring comfort to first responders and the soldiers that now guarded the surrounding area. He heard stories that were unbearable to listen to, let alone live through. He shared many with us police chaplains and it has stayed with me to this day. Again, I wasn't there so I can only imagine how the trauma of that day affected so many first responders.
So here we were, about 50 police chaplains from across Canada and the US listening to stories and slowly understanding what it meant to stand with those who have suffered trauma. On one of the evenings an outing had been planned by the host police chaplain: we were going to a pub for drinks. Only problem was that our guest and the president of the International Police Chaplains didn't drink so I made a suggestion to them. I knew of a good movie that had come out recently that I had already seen with my wife. My Big Fat Greek Wedding was a movie they hadn't even heard of but they were willing to do anything instead of going to a pub. It was a great night with too much laughter, if that is possible, and many a thank you for the remainder of the week. It was also good for all 3 of us after sitting all day listening to the events of 9/11 and the aftermath.
I tell this story because trauma or as we call it today, PTSD, is very real. For 3 men and especially someone who was at Ground Zero, we needed a distraction and laughter was an excellent one. Yet today temporary distractions are not the answer for those suffering from PTSD. We would all say that nothing can be as bad as 9/11 but is that really true? Today many first responders face traumatic events in their regular jobs that none of us ever have to face. Then just to pile on, the media and special interest groups attack cops for doing their jobs. The pressure is enormous and for some it can bring them to a breaking point.
As a Christian chaplain I realize that many first responders fear us as much as the trauma (maybe a slight exaggeration). Usually a chaplain is simply there to listen and offer solutions that don't include a preach or prayer. That may come at some point but I believe God is interested in restoring people who have suffered trauma. That may come in various forms including psychiatrists and yoga instructors. The truth is, we need to be there for those who are crying out for help. On 9/11 we all experienced some of that but for most of us our feet were never on the ground. First Responders were running to the danger while everyone else was running away from it. That is not just a catchy phrase: it is the truth.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Monday, February 29, 2016
Trauma: What does it look like?
I have written a few posts recently that looked at PTSD and how Chaplains like myself might become part of a team that helps First Responders. This blog however takes a different angle at the issue of trauma because I know we can all face this at times in our lives. I also know that you can suffer from PTSD even if you have never been a First Responder. To make my point, I need to give personal stories that I have lived through with others while in my role as a pastor and chaplain.
Post Traumatic Stress (Disorder) is usually caused after more than one traumatic event in someone's life. There are however cases where just one horrific event can have the same affect. In the news here in Toronto, one of the headlines in our newspapers was the introduction of new legislation that will make it easier for First Responders to get financial aid without jumping through as many hoops with Workmen's Compensation. The thought behind this being that more cops, firefighters and EMS personnel will receive help because PTSD will be seen as a workplace "illness". Not sure I like the word illness but that is what they want to call it. What about the rest of us however? Is it possible for non-First responders to be exposed to events that are just as damaging?
My stories are often dealing with others and their traumas and yet I lived through these with families and individuals each time I was asked to fulfill my role as a pastor and chaplain. This blog is not written so the readers will feel sorry for me. It is written to show that trauma is not the exclusive domain of First Responders and our military.
I am going to begin with an event that scarred me and many others. It is an event that I can't fully tell because the individual that caused the trauma was a young offender. When all was said and done, I had worked with the Children's Aid Society, the Toronto Police, the Attorney General's office, professional therapists and a church community that was betrayed. The betrayal didn't end with the young offender but instead the trauma continued for family, young victims and myself when other church leaders accepted the lies of one of their own. It continued through 8 days of court when the AG's representative, assigned to help young victims in the courtroom instead went and helped 2 families that needed more help in the courtroom than we did. The trial of Paul Bernardo just happened to take place at the same time and the help was for the Mahaffy and French families.
So consider that as a pastor, I was asked to make the pain go away for these parents, children and eventually for the church community. Consider that I could not do it well enough no matter what I did. Consider that other pastors accused me of things based on what the young offender's father was telling people as far away as Europe and South America. Even as I write this I am feeling a bit of tightness in my chest. It was an horrendous few years and added to everything else was the fear that our 2 boys might also have been victims. I truly believe that my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and a wonderful loving wife got me through those couple of years.
To this day I know of things this young offender did that others never heard about. That in itself is difficult but since then I have gone through other traumatic events where I was once again looked upon as the "steading voice" and the one to make "things better". I will talk about those things in a later post but it brings me to what I see as the proverbial "rock and a hard place". As someone like me is looked upon to bring comfort and solutions, who helps me? I did get help through someone that I believe God brought into my life at the very time I was preparing to quit: and I do mean literally quit. This comparison is not meant to lesson what our First Responders face every day but it might help some of you understand where I was. While everyone is finding fault in you and your actions, you feel like you are dying inside while doing absolutely everything you can to help others. Much like our cops that get very little love from media when things look bad and almost no praise for the other 99% of the time when they are putting their lives on the line: often for those who are slamming them.
PTSD should be seen as a something associated with First Responders and Military. What I am pointing out is that others of us have also gone through situations that affect our lives in a less than positive way and yes, cause trauma and even PTSD. As a Christian and as a Chaplain, my other blogs mentioned that there is a resource that most police, fire and EMS are not exposed to when suffering from PTSD or Occupational Stress Injuries (OSI). The spiritual or more specifically the Christian faith perspective has helped millions of people all over the world for centuries. We can't keep ignoring the positive role that Chaplains can have in fighting the symptoms of PTSD. With proper training and years of practical experience, I would consider their insights as being invaluable in helping victims of PTSD.
In my next post I will share a few other traumatic experiences that I was exposed to because of my role as a pastor and chaplain. Perhaps you can come to your own conclusions as to whether exposure to these kinds of events could cause PTSD. I don't think it did for me but they can't help but affect your life.
Post Traumatic Stress (Disorder) is usually caused after more than one traumatic event in someone's life. There are however cases where just one horrific event can have the same affect. In the news here in Toronto, one of the headlines in our newspapers was the introduction of new legislation that will make it easier for First Responders to get financial aid without jumping through as many hoops with Workmen's Compensation. The thought behind this being that more cops, firefighters and EMS personnel will receive help because PTSD will be seen as a workplace "illness". Not sure I like the word illness but that is what they want to call it. What about the rest of us however? Is it possible for non-First responders to be exposed to events that are just as damaging?
My stories are often dealing with others and their traumas and yet I lived through these with families and individuals each time I was asked to fulfill my role as a pastor and chaplain. This blog is not written so the readers will feel sorry for me. It is written to show that trauma is not the exclusive domain of First Responders and our military.
I am going to begin with an event that scarred me and many others. It is an event that I can't fully tell because the individual that caused the trauma was a young offender. When all was said and done, I had worked with the Children's Aid Society, the Toronto Police, the Attorney General's office, professional therapists and a church community that was betrayed. The betrayal didn't end with the young offender but instead the trauma continued for family, young victims and myself when other church leaders accepted the lies of one of their own. It continued through 8 days of court when the AG's representative, assigned to help young victims in the courtroom instead went and helped 2 families that needed more help in the courtroom than we did. The trial of Paul Bernardo just happened to take place at the same time and the help was for the Mahaffy and French families.
So consider that as a pastor, I was asked to make the pain go away for these parents, children and eventually for the church community. Consider that I could not do it well enough no matter what I did. Consider that other pastors accused me of things based on what the young offender's father was telling people as far away as Europe and South America. Even as I write this I am feeling a bit of tightness in my chest. It was an horrendous few years and added to everything else was the fear that our 2 boys might also have been victims. I truly believe that my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and a wonderful loving wife got me through those couple of years.
To this day I know of things this young offender did that others never heard about. That in itself is difficult but since then I have gone through other traumatic events where I was once again looked upon as the "steading voice" and the one to make "things better". I will talk about those things in a later post but it brings me to what I see as the proverbial "rock and a hard place". As someone like me is looked upon to bring comfort and solutions, who helps me? I did get help through someone that I believe God brought into my life at the very time I was preparing to quit: and I do mean literally quit. This comparison is not meant to lesson what our First Responders face every day but it might help some of you understand where I was. While everyone is finding fault in you and your actions, you feel like you are dying inside while doing absolutely everything you can to help others. Much like our cops that get very little love from media when things look bad and almost no praise for the other 99% of the time when they are putting their lives on the line: often for those who are slamming them.
PTSD should be seen as a something associated with First Responders and Military. What I am pointing out is that others of us have also gone through situations that affect our lives in a less than positive way and yes, cause trauma and even PTSD. As a Christian and as a Chaplain, my other blogs mentioned that there is a resource that most police, fire and EMS are not exposed to when suffering from PTSD or Occupational Stress Injuries (OSI). The spiritual or more specifically the Christian faith perspective has helped millions of people all over the world for centuries. We can't keep ignoring the positive role that Chaplains can have in fighting the symptoms of PTSD. With proper training and years of practical experience, I would consider their insights as being invaluable in helping victims of PTSD.
In my next post I will share a few other traumatic experiences that I was exposed to because of my role as a pastor and chaplain. Perhaps you can come to your own conclusions as to whether exposure to these kinds of events could cause PTSD. I don't think it did for me but they can't help but affect your life.
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